FORT KNOX, KY. – Even with nausea swirling, Cadet Angelina Suarez, Jacksonville State University, waited to be tested with a smile on her face. She had to properly don her mission oriented protective posture gear for the exam, then, she and her fellow 7th Regiment, Advanced Camp Cadets would face the confidence chamber. 

Even though the chamber would be filled with CS gas and she’d have to breathe it in, that’s not what Suarez was most nervous about. 

She was most concerned about the testing beforehand. She’d have a few minutes to properly put on her MOPP gear and Suarez was struggling with parts of it. She was having trouble putting on the hood of the jacket and tying its strings. On top of that, her stomach was churning. She ate cottage cheese for breakfast and dairy is notorious for making the experience in the gas chamber worse. It can make people more likely to throw up. The thought and anxiety of that made Suarez more nauseous.

She wasn’t going to let that hold her back though. Coming from a military family, Suarez had heard about the gas chamber many times in the past and was always intrigued by it. She always wanted to know what it would feel like inside there.

“Now I actually get the chance to do it,” Suarez said. “So, it’s a very exciting experience.”

Her brother, her dad, his siblings, her grandpa and other extended family members all served or are currently serving in the Army. Some would be inspired and want to follow in their footsteps, but originally, Suarez did not. The Army was all she ever heard people talk about. Even sitting around the Thanksgiving table, all conversations led to the Army. She was tired of it, but she decided to give it a chance. Now Suarez knows she really was inspired by her family’s service, especially her dad’s.

“I look up to him even more knowing that I’m about to do the same thing that he had to do,” she said. 

As a kid, Suarez’s dad was not around a lot. From the day she was born until she was 16-years-old, her father was on active duty, constantly moving, but Suarez, her brother and mother did not follow. They stayed in Jacksonville, Ala. 

“You get used to it,” she said, “but every time he would come back and then have to leave again, it was like all the emotions over and over.”

When her dad could visit, Suarez would go to the airport with her mom and brother to pick him up. Suarez would be so excited she felt like she could cry. The feeling that is still familiar. Suarez is engaged and about to be married, but her fiancée is also away a lot. He has been stationed at Fort Carson, Colo. for the last few months and will leave for a deployment to Kuwait soon. 

“This has actually been pretty hard,” she said. 

Suarez and her fiancée are each other’s biggest motivators. Both being in the Army, and at one point both Cadets, they know what each other are going through. The distance makes it hard for them to stay motivated, but Suarez has found a way to keep going at CST.

“We’ve got about 500 (people) or so in this regiment that are doing the same thing simultaneously,” she said. 

For her, it’s just like finals week at school, pulling an all-nighter studying before a big test.

“You look around the library and you see a hundred other people doing the same thing,” she said. 

The simple fact that she’s not alone and it’s not a unique experience gives Suarez motivation. People have done it before and they’ll do it after, so she can do it now. Her motivation also comes from motivating others. If she can focus on others and keep herself busy, she can’t get down in her head, so she smiles. 

“Sometimes it’s not always there,” she said, “but most of the time, I try to smile.”

That smile faded in the gas chamber. As the gas started to make its way into her lungs, her smile was replaced by grimacing and coughing. After they’d been out of the gas chamber for a few minutes, her battle buddies smiled and declared that the chamber was not that bad, but the look on Suarez’s face and a slight downturn of her lips showed she did not agree. As the conversation continued, the smile returned. 

More smiling moments await Suarez as graduation approaches. There, she will see her fiancée for the first time in months. 

“It’s going to be sweet,” she said. “I’m going to give him the biggest hug.”

A couple days later, they will be married. On that day there will be no nausea, grimacing or nerves, just excitement and smiling.